how to fix repetition lol

I have a particular gf  in another state that we have off and on tried to work things out for five years. I friggin fall back into the damn giving control loosing emotional anonymity  by getting angry etc. She cursed at me over some petty trivial crap a couple days ago and I went the hell off  telling her F u  (*&^   etc. She broke up for the fiftieth time, and i said i am so g (*& tired of everytime u get a c(*t hair crossed u start yelling  I am done. I take care of this woman financially  etc and when it is good it is great until its not.  lol NOw i am getting no response from emails , and my numbers blocked, and that is her thing when she gets her panties in a wad.  i am still not blocked on facebook,  lol that is different, but cant post or comment lol no big deal, Just not sure how to get back out in front of this one ?  SUGGESTIONS PLEASE